6 Things Your Infertile Friends Want You to Know
Dealing with infertility can be overwhelming, devastating, and frustrating. It can also be incredibly lonely, even when you recognize that millions of women across the globe struggle with the same issues. But, when everyone in your friend circle seems to have no problem getting pregnant, that loneliness can come through even more.
If you haven’t had issues conceiving but you have friends who are struggling, it’s important to know the ins and outs of how to act. Let’s cover a few things your infertile friends want you to know, so you’ll be aware of the right things to say and do and how you can show support.
1. Your Good-Natured Questions Can Be Painful
When you haven’t had issues getting pregnant, it can be easy to assume everyone in your circle of friends is in the same boat. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. There are more infertile women in the world than you might realize.
Because of that, it’s important not to ask flippant questions or make insensitive comments, no matter your intentions. Don’t ask your friends when they’re going to get pregnant or encourage them to “start trying.” You might not know what’s happening behind closed doors, and your friends may not want to advertise it.
2. It Takes a Toll
Infertility can take a toll on someone’s physical and mental health. If someone you know is going through things like hormone injections or IVF, their body is likely exhausted. They probably don’t feel great. Take that into consideration when they don’t want to go out or do things all the time. Mentally and emotionally, infertility is draining. The waiting game can contribute to anxiety, stress, and even depression.
3. Your “Solutions” Might Not Help
Even if you know someone is dealing with infertility, it’s not always the best idea to provide solutions. Suggesting they adopt a child, keep trying, or telling them to find some kind of silver lining isn’t the way to go. Instead, let them know you’re there to support them with whatever they need—whenever they need it.
4. Don’t Expect Them to Share Everything
Some women are more comfortable talking about their infertility issues than others. But don’t expect friends or family members to share everything. It’s a very personal issue. No matter how close you are with someone, listen to what they have to say, and don’t try to “force” more information out of them. They’ll speak about things when they’re ready.
5. Provide a Sense of Normalcy
Your friends with infertility don’t want you to act differently around them. They don’t want you to walk on eggshells or show pity. In fact, one of the best things you can do to help them is to provide a healthy distraction by being normal.
There’s a fine line between showing sensitivity to their situation and not letting it control your relationship. Let them take the lead when it comes to what they do and don’t want to do/talk about. For the most part, though, it’s usually a better idea to do things as you normally would together than dwell on what they might be going through.
6. You Should Educate Yourself
If you’re still struggling with how to support your infertile friends, do your research. Educate yourself on the issues surrounding infertility. Everyone is different, and your friend might be experiencing a completely unique situation. But, at least by researching the subject, you’ll be able to be more empathetic to their needs and feelings. That’s something they’ll greatly appreciate.
If you haven’t had to deal with infertility yourself, it can be hard to understand. Do what you can to provide comfort and support, and be a shoulder to lean on rather than a fountain of advice. Schedule your free 30-minute consultation today!
