Termination of Pregnancy for Medical Reasons (TFMR)
Often, the termination of a pregnancy is turned into an opinionated subject, or even a political one. No matter how you might feel about either of those things, it hits differently when you have to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons – especially a wanted pregnancy.
Unfortunately, far too many women do not talk about the subject out of discomfort. Maybe you fear being rejected by some, or praised by others when you’re still grieving. Breaking the silence when it comes to terminating for medical reasons is important.
Many women have to make this unbelievable decision each year. Some don’t have the resources or even the necessary medical knowledge to fully explain to others why it was the right thing to do. If that sounds familiar, the most important thing to recognize is that you’re not alone.
Let’s talk a bit more about the grief surrounding a terminated pregnancy, and how you can protect yourself when so many people have opinions or see termination as something taboo.
Deciding to Have an Abortion for Medical Reasons
Some of the most common medical reasons women end up choosing medical termination include:
Severe complications
You need other treatment for a condition (ie; chemotherapy) that you can’t go through with while pregnant
A fatal fetal abnormality
Giving birth would put your life at risk
No matter the reason, ending your pregnancy is never an easy choice, especially when you want the child and have been looking forward to being pregnant. It’s extremely important to talk to your doctor and get as many opinions from the medical field as you’d like.
You may never be 100% “comfortable” with the decision. But, hearing that it’s the right decision to make for your health from multiple doctors can ease some guilt and help you to let go of the stigma associated with medical termination.
Consider What’s Best for You
It’s crucial to get as much information as possible from your medical team. Learn what the potential effects of going through with the pregnancy would be. While your doctor can’t predict the future with 100% certainty, they can give you strong medical opinions and evidence.
Why does that matter? Not only will it help with your decision, but it can make talking about your decision easier. It’s easy for everyone to have an opinion on your choice. But, those opinions get shut down very quickly when you start to talk about the medical reasons for it.
By educating yourself, you’re also arming yourself with the necessary information to keep judgmental individuals at bay.
Finding the Support You Need
It can feel next to impossible to get the support you need after losing a baby due to medical termination, but it’s incredibly important to make sure you’re not carrying the weight on your own.
In an ideal world, you could lean on your partner, family, and/or friends for support. Chances are, there’s at least one person in your inner circle who will be there for you and support your decisions, no matter what. Someone who can be a listening ear for whatever you’re feeling will make getting through the grief of your abortion much easier. However, that isn’t always the case.
If you don’t feel like you have anyone in your life you can turn to, working with a therapist or counselor can make a big difference. Being able to talk through your emotions, deal with guilt, and feel more confident in your decision will help you to be compassionate with yourself, no matter what anyone else might say or think.
The more you are able to feel comfortable discussing your experiences, you can start to heal, educate others, and start to reduce the stigmatization of ending a pregnancy for medical reasons
If you're struggling with a pending decision to terminate for medical reasons or trying to make sense of how to move forward after your pregnancy loss, please reach out. Together, we can process your feelings, develop coping skills, and create a plan to move forward. If you have questions or want to know how I can help, I offer a 15-minute consultation. Please reach out today!
