Relationship Boundaries: 5 Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries
When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s easy to adopt the attitude that your partner should be involved with everything in your life. That’s really up to you, but it’s not something either of you should assume. Relationships need boundaries. Even the closest couples with healthy relationships typically have boundaries established.
Boundaries aren’t put in place to keep anyone at arm’s length. They aren’t meant to throw a wrench in your relationship or spend more time alone. In fact, when you set healthy boundaries, you can reduce the stress in your relationship and establish a more healthy dynamic with your partner and increase self-esteem.
Let’s cover a few effective ways to set healthy boundaries.
1. Be Honest About Your Needs
One of the greatest benefits of setting boundaries is having a clear picture of what each person needs in the relationship. If you’re not comfortable with something, your partner deserves to know.
In addition to your needs, be honest about your expectations. Considering what you expect from your relationship will make sharing those things with your partner easier. When they understand your needs and can make changes accordingly, you’ll see your relationship get closer.
2. Be an Active Listener
Boundaries go both ways.
Your partner might not know how to set boundaries or open up about what they need. Encourage them. Ask questions. Let them know that you’re ready and willing to work on yourself and your relationship based on their expectations.
Be an active listener when it comes to what they have to say. That doesn’t just mean “hearing” them and letting their words fall flat. Make sure you understand your partner’s needs and be willing to discuss them.
3. Practice Self-Reflection
Your boundaries today might be different from what they were ten years ago. It’s good to practice self-reflection often. Re-discover who you are, what you want, and why those wants are important. It’s okay if your expectations have changed—that’s part of maturing and being in a different place in your relationship.
If you don’t practice self-reflection and develop an understanding of your needs, your partner might unknowingly end up doing it for you. Unfortunately, that can lead to an unhealthy, dependent relationship.
4. Communicate Clearly
Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship needs to come from a place of respect. It’s an important discussion, but if done the “wrong” way, it could leave you or your partner feeling misunderstood or even hurt.
For example, if your partner says they need more space and time alone and doesn’t explain why, you might find yourself wondering if you did something wrong or if your relationship is in trouble.
As you set boundaries, focusing on your needs is essential. But make sure you understand how to communicate those needs in a way that is clear, respectful, and easy to understand. These discussions don’t need to be quick. Rather, they should be something you’re both willing to spend quite a bit of time on to ensure you fully understand each other’s needs.
5. Understand Things Change
We touched briefly on the fact that your boundaries might change over time. With that in mind, make a commitment to check in with your partner regularly about their boundaries and expectations.
It can be an ongoing discussion that keeps your relationship healthy and close. People need and want different things at different stages of life, and recognizing that in your relationship will ensure you’re both consistently comfortable and safe.
If you haven’t already set boundaries in your relationship, it’s never too late to make it a priority. It will foster stronger communication, help you understand your partner’s needs (as well as your own), and will create a healthier balance between the two of you. Schedule your free 30-minutes consultation today!
