Does Enmeshment Cause Codependency?
Most people have at least heard of codependency, and some have a basic understanding of what it looks like. However, fewer people are familiar with enmeshment. Understanding the basics of enmeshment and how it’s often linked to codependency can make it easier to determine what you, personally, might be dealing with. It can also help you recognize some signs that your partner might be codependent or dealing with enmeshment.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at what enmeshment is, how it relates to codependency, and whether it can actually cause you to become codependent in your relationship(s).
What Is Enmeshment?
Enmeshment is used to describe relationships where personal boundaries are unclear and permeable. While most people think about romantic relationships, enmeshment can occur in a variety of relationships, including parents and children, family members, and friends.
Some examples might include a child being best friends with their parent. Or, a partner that is so involved with the needs of their significant other that they start to lose touch with their own feelings.
If you’re not sure whether you’re in an enmeshed relationship, consider some of the following signs:
Your emotions are blurred
Your emotional state depends on another person
It’s always up to you to make things “better” in your relationship
If you continue allowing yourself to be in an enmeshed relationship, it will likely become toxic very quickly. Enmeshment can make harmful behaviors seem normal, and if you try to dissent from what your partner/friends/family considers “normal,” they might feel like you’re betraying them. That can leave you with heavy levels of guilt, which is why so many people in enmeshed relationships stay there.
Can Enmeshment Lead to Codependency?
Enmeshment typically starts in childhood relationships. When you grow up in an enmeshed family, you’re essentially taught to be codependent from a very early age. If your parents were more interested in being your friend than anything else, you might have grown up thinking you need to rely on others for your own sense of self-worth. Because of that, as you get older, you might fall into codependent relationships more easily.
In a codependent relationship, one person doesn’t recognize boundaries while the other doesn’t insist on them. That person can end up manipulating their partner, and you could find yourself in a controlling, toxic relationship without really realizing it.
How do you know if you’re in a codependent relationship? Consider where you find happiness. Does your joy strictly come from doing things for your partner? Do you have any interests of your own? Do you stay in your relationship even if you know your partner is hurtful toward you? Your answers should give you a pretty clear picture of whether you’re in a codependent relationship. Once you come to that realization, you can start to get the help you deserve.
Breaking the Cycle
If you’re currently in a codependent relationship, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. Your partner is likely used to manipulating and controlling you. It can be hard to break free on your own. Thankfully, you don’t have to. When you realize that your relationship is emotionally toxic and borderline abusive, you can take the first steps toward freedom.
Feel free to reach out for help from family members and friends. Leaning on your support system is a great way to find freedom from a codependent relationship.
Additionally, don’t hesitate to talk to a mental health professional, especially if you believe you experienced an enmeshed lifestyle growing up. Getting to the root cause of codependency can help you break the cycle and step into healthier relationships in the future. Schedule your free 30-minute consultation today!
