What Causes Perfectionism?
Some people perceive perfectionism as a positive thing. After all, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do your best and be the best, right? Unfortunately, that’s not the true definition of perfectionism. No, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do your best. There’s also nothing wrong with having high expectations. However, perfectionism takes things to extremes. You start to expect everyone to be perfect. You think your mistakes make you inadequate. Many perfectionists also try to avoid things that may cause them to fail or spend a lot of time hiding their flaws. Perfectionism can take over your life and destroy your self-esteem and confidence.
But what causes it? Are some people more prone to perfectionism than others? Let’s take a closer look.
Can You Be Born a Perfectionist?
There have been plenty of debates surrounding the idea of whether perfectionism is learned or has more to do with genetics. The answer? It’s a little bit of both. Perfectionism can be attributed to your parents, but it’s mostly based on your environment. So, while it might seem like your parents are perfectionists and you are too, it likely has more to do with how they raised you than your actual DNA.
Early Childhood Experiences
For many people, perfectionism begins in childhood. Maybe you had parents with unusually high expectations, or maybe you constantly felt judged by others in your family or close inner circle. That isn’t to say you can’t become a perfectionist later in life. Maybe you started to experience that fear of judgment in college or the first time you entered the workforce. No one likes to feel like a failure or worry about letting people down. If you already struggle with issues like low self-esteem or you tend to be a people-pleaser, you might be more prone to perfectionism at any age.
Is Perfectionism a Mental Health Disorder?
On its own, perfectionism isn’t a mental health issue. However, it can be triggered by other issues and could contribute to them. For example, studies have shown that people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) may have more perfectionist tendencies than others. People who are anxious might also try to be perfect in everything they do to calm the symptoms of their worries.
Unfortunately, perfectionism tends to create a vicious cycle. The more worried you are about being perfect, the more unrealistic your expectations will become. As you continue to fall short, your anxiety will grow, and you might even start to struggle with depression.
Perfectionist Traits
How can you be sure you’re dealing with perfectionism, and you don’t just have high standards? There are pretty clear differences. Perfectionists are typical all-or-nothing thinkers. If you can’t be perfect, then you’re a failure. They’re often highly critical of themselves, no matter how hard they work. You can also tell if you’re a perfectionist if you have an overwhelming fear of failure. If your motives are pushed by fear, you’re never going to be able to be “good” enough for your own standards.
How is Perfectionism Treated?
Even though perfectionism isn’t technically an illness of any kind, you can overcome it with the right mindset and support system. The first step in overcoming perfectionism is recognizing the root cause. We’ll dive deeper into how you can move past perfectionism in a future blog post. Still, it’s important to recognize that finding the freedom to be human and make mistakes starts with knowing where your unrealistic expectations stem from.
Whether you’ve been called a perfectionist all your life or show all of the common symptoms and you’re tired of falling victim to your own expectations, reach out today! Overcoming perfectionism is possible and counseling is a great place to start!
